Eagles vs. Saints January 13th, 2019

Recent Threads

Summary

14010 total comments

77.83 comments per minute

2519 total authors

5.5617 avg comments each

Game Thread All Stars

MVP

/u/CoffeeNTrees

"I feel like I'm about to watch my dude take a shot at the hottest chick in the bar."

"All things considered, sports are nothing more than reality TV and we got to watch our favorite character longer than we thought. Great fucking show."

All-Thread 1st Team

/u/Giroux_perfect_beard "please give fletch all the drugs known to man"

/u/jellybeanjj "I do nothing of importance in life take me God give us fletch"

/u/Deadeye_Donny "I finally undersand. Doug used shit playcalls all year so noone could plan for us in the playoffs. Smart man Dougie"

/u/casualgatorskinshoez "I’m upvoting everyone this is the best the birds made me feel since BG strip sack vs pats"

/u/alphacheese "6 foot 6 inch frame. Talking about Foles height or his dick?"

Angriest Comments

#1 Anger Score: 0.969799

/u/Quentin_Jammer "Our best O lineman and D lineman.Fucking kill me."

#2 Anger Score: 0.962052

/u/DabidoZ "Everything fucking annoying me right now dont talk to me"

#3 Anger Score: 0.951021

/u/ThisIsWhatWeLiveFor "Man opposing teams cornerbacks fuckin piss me off with those lame fuckin celebrations, thanks for letting me vent guys"

Tentative Comments

#1 Tentative Score: 0.999484

/u/PhillyJawn91 "I hope its just cramps. Please just be cramps."

#2 Tentative Score: 0.998976

/u/mycheesypoofs "Something something Kelly Clarkson"

#3 Tentative Score: 0.99856

/u/HumanShadow "OK OFFENSE! DO SOMETHING!"

Happiest Comments

#1 Joy Score: 1.000

/u/NickFolesdong "Thank you Jesus"

#2 Joy Score: 0.988023

/u/ChocoBaconPancake "FOLES FOLES FOLES HES AMAZING FOLES FOLES FOLES AHHHHHHHHHHHH"

#3 Joy Score: 0.953622

/u/Giroux_perfect_beard "ITS A GOOD TIME FOR SOME SWEET SWEET ALSHON"

Saddest Comments

#1 Sadness Score: 1.000

/u/-IAMSANTOS- "I'm so sad."

#2 Sadness Score: 0.923257

/u/aliaswyvernspur "A Dallas loss, and no Joe Buck or Collingsworth? What a day."

#3 Sadness Score: 0.917807

/u/ElSuperbeast0 "Ive been touring other subs this weekend and the amount of whining and poor me type of posting is really, really sad"

Confident Comments

#1 Confidence Score: 0.997153

/u/Maverick_Con "WE ALL WE GOT. WE ALL WE NEED."

#2 Confidence Score: 0.99623

/u/Harriettubmaninatub "All. Wear them all. We need their combined powers"

#3 Confidence Score: 0.99091

/u/gitykinz "Games over. Team has absolutely zero fight in them. Pathetic."

Overall Thread Sentiment

14.620% happy comments

20.167% angry comments

Most Positive Author

/u/CrudHorn, with comments like:
"DONT FORGET THE MAGIC OF NICK FOLES"

Most Negative Author

/u/mtmodi, with comments like:
"Why the fuck is this shit in spanish"

Fucks Given*

*this accounts derivatives of "fuck", which includes "fuuuuuk" and "fook", as well as the phonetic "phuck", and also acronyms such as "wtf" and "gtfo". "Fuck dallas" counts double, as per tradition.

1895 Fucks Given through 7.3922% of comments, at a rate of about 10.53 FPM

This was a high fucks-given rate game thread. Here's an example:

/u/bogey2230 "Some bitches up in here are fucking glass is half empty kinda people.Grab your nut sack if you have one and man the fuck up.Ladies.... I got nothing."


Top Bomb Droppers

1./u/Domestic_AA_Battery gave 31 fucks.

2./u/Quentin_Jammer gave 22 fucks.

3./u/mtmodi gave 22 fucks.


The Heros We Need: /u/eagles4life1991 /u/Capn21 /u/onemanthreecats /u/_codyin3d_ /u/Tiinpa /u/onemanthreecats /u/noreason128 /u/gatemansgc /u/HellYeahTinyRick /u/onemanthreecats /u/homercrates /u/Ohhhsheesh all reminded us to "fuck dallas".