57844 total comments
192.81 comments per minute
12843 total authors
4.504 avg comments each
*this accounts derivatives of "fuck", which includes "fuuuuuk" and "fook", as well as the phonetic "phuck", and also acronyms such as "wtf" and "gtfo". "Fuck dallas" counts double, as per tradition.
This was a high fucks-rate game thread. Here are some examples:
"My fucking wife paused the game during commercials when I took a piss and grabbed a beer and played it before I got back and is watching a live feed on her phone and calling everything that happens like she's fucking Nostradamus. ffs"
"I love how Bud is trying to pretend they're doing customers a favor instead of simply following new federal law"
/u/Shaq_Bolton "I wonder how many kids of football players get all rebellious and start rooting for their dads rival. Like Ben Rothelsburger says "Billy, you got to do better in school." then Billy responds "FUCK YOU CAPTAIN FAT FUCK, BALL SO HARD UNIVERSITY, BUCK UP!!, GO RAVENS! ( unintelligible bird noises )"
/u/ActuallyAquaman "FUCK YOU, YOU FILTHY LOADED MOTHER FUCKERS. HOW MUCH MORE CAN YOU POSSIBLY WANT? A 17-2 SUPER BOWL WINNING SEASON DOES NOT NEED TO BE IMPROVED UPON. HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKERS TRY AN EXERCISE IN COMPLACENCY. WHAT'S WRONG WITH 8-8? NOTHING'S WRONG WITH 8-8. EVERY OTHER TEAM IN THE LEAGUE HAS DONE IT BEFORE. WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE AND GIVE MEDIOCRITY A TEST RUN?!
HOW THE FUCK DOES A GUY WHO WEARS HOODIES MORE OFTEN THAN A PROUD HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND CONTINUE TO SWINDLE TEAMS AND SEDUCE HIGH-PROFILE CANDIDATES. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THAT FUCKING PIGSKIN RAINMAN RETIRES AND TAKES HIS CHARLIE BABBITT OF A QUARTERBACK WITH HIM.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I HOPE YOU FUCKERS GO 19-0. YOU COME BACK FROM 26 THIS TIME. "FOOTBALL EXPERTS" IN UNNECESSARY SUITS CALL TOM AND BILL THE UNDISPUTED GOATS.. YOU HAVE THE PARADE. PEOPLE THROW BEERS AT GRONK. GRONK THROWS PEOPLE AT BEERS. I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOT OF FUN. I WISH YOU A LOT OF SUCCESS. I HOPE YOU PEAK.
THEN I HOPE YOU FUCKING IMPLODE. IM TALKING BLOWING A 25 POINT LEAD IN THE SUPER BOWL LEVEL OF IMPLOSION. BILL RETIRES. BRADY RETIRES. GRONK RETIRES. NO, WAIT A SECOND, GRONK BECOMES ACTING HEAD COACH/GM/QUARTERBACK.
AND I HOPE YOUR FUCKING SHITTY STADIUM GETS BURIED IN SHAVING CREAM."
/u/zpepsin "I cannot wait to watch a game without a FUCKING WHISTLE BLOWING THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN BROADCAST"
/u/dontlookathis "If my team wins I will go "Yay" If my team loses I will say "fuck the refs it was rigged and I hate Tom Brady""
/u/EvelynAModifiedDog "Are there any decent sitcoms left on major networks? Every time I see a commercial for a show like "Fam", I can't help but wonder 'WHO THE FUCK IS WATCHING THESE PROGRAMS?!' Is some dude driving home from his 9-5 desk job, adjusting the AUX cord in his 2007 Nissan Altima so the static doesn't drown out Kings Of Leon too much, looking forward to a Stouffer's frozen dinner and the season premiere of 'God Friended Me'?"
244 drink references
14.19% happy comments
14.798% angry comments
Most Positive Author
/u/couchjitsu, with comments like:
"I'm looking forward to years of Mahomes vs Case Keenum"
Most Negative Author
/u/Nightmenace21, with comments like:
"HAHAHAHAHA WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT"