Eagles vs. Giants

/r/eagles Game Thread Analysis
January 21, 2023

Game Thread Summary

8759 total comments

145.983 comments per minute

4794 Positive comments

Most Positive
/u/methodin26.099999733269215

Most Prolific
/u/WeaponX75795 comments

1705 total authors

5.137 comments per author

3965 Negative comments

Most Negative
/u/Senior_Fart_Director-17.500000193715096

Most Emotional
/u/WeaponX75745.400000140070915

Recent Threads

Game Thread All Stars

MVP:

/u/CantStumpIWin

57 Comments

36.70000021904707 Emotion

-10.100000128149986 Pos/Neg

Yo whath up my name ith michael sthrahan

I heard thome lady wath thellin thome theethells by the theethore.

Taco Bell used to taste good at least. Now its trash garbage dirty wet sock food.

Seriously though it was always bad for you but at least it tasted good. Now its just worthless. Homeless people turn it down.

I wanna go to the giants sub and tell them to suck my balls but Im not gonna do that because Im not like that anymore. Also, I follow the rules.

Take Lane out of the baaaallllgame. Take Lane out fucking NOWWWW. Rest up his wiener and lower back,We know for sure that we will need him back Cause its root root root for the EAAAAAAAGLES Giants blown out what a shaaaame. Cause its 123 picks for Jones in this homeeeee ballll gameeeeee!

All-Thread 1st Team
/u/themikesem Emotion: -1.4999999925494194Magnitude: 5.799999944865704

I'm not gay but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Jake Elliott. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he practices PATs, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Jake. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then he'll go inside, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.

/u/Senior_Fart_Director Emotion: -17.500000193715096Magnitude: 40.90000047534704

finally put my toddler to sleep whatd i miss

/u/Dantheeaglesman Emotion: -15.700000114738941Magnitude: 34.000000432133675

Giants D huddling on the sideline: "HEY LET'S GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER AND ONLY LOSE BY 28 INSTEAD OF 40!"

/u/snowdope Emotion: -12.50000013411045Magnitude: 27.80000016838312

don't let this playoff showdown distract you from the fact that the nets traded james harden for ben simmons

F-Bombs Dropped*

*this accounts derivatives of "fuck", which includes "fuuuuuk" and "fook", as well as the phonetic "phuck", and also acronyms such as "wtf" and "gtfo". "Fuck dallas" counts double, as per tradition.

827 fucks given

13.783 FPM

9.442% all comments


Ebbs and Fucks

Top Bomb Droppers

/u/snowdope gave 11 fucks.

/u/Senior_Fart_Director gave 10 fucks.

/u/black_chinaski gave 10 fucks.

Most Metaphorical Bomb

/u/Dantheeaglesman The Saints are like the cheap prostitute the Howie calls when he's looking for a quick fuck

Most Likely Targeted Bomb

/u/QCWiggins That might work against the VikingsBUT NOT US. FUCK OUTTA HERE DANIEL JONES YOU LITERALLY LOOK LIKE IF WHITE PRIVILEGE WAS A PERSON

Most Supportive Bomb

/u/FormerSBO He fuckin knows wtf he's doing mfrs now fuck off ffs. Fuck,

Most Elequent Bomb

/u/emet18 Honestly my guy Im conflicted. On the one hand, fuck Dallas lmao. On the other hand, I am sexually aroused at the prospect of beating the Cowboys in Philly for the NFC title. There simply would not be enough Crisco for the city

Most Accurate Bomb

/u/ThnkWthPrtls Death, taxes, and Boston fucking Scott scoring against the Giants

Most Community Focused Bomb

/u/jaysteezle Fuck Dallas and all but a part of me wants to see them squeak out a win cause if we're this close to full strength I have no doubt we can take care of them in Philly for the conference.And also those sweet Cowboys tears

Obligatory Bomb

/u/Dear_Steve_Jobs First off, congratulations. Second, you got this. We all believe in you. Third, Go Birds! Last, FUCK DALLAS

Drank References

49 drink references

"whiskey" Most referenced

Most Confident Comment

/u/DELCO-PHILLY-BOY At the game, havent had havent had a drop of alcohol, but Im having so much fun I feel hammered lmao

Most Generous Comment

/u/Onegin Hey sober friend! Enjoy stress drinking La Croix and waking up tomorrow with a clear head that allows you \[fingers crossed\] a few bonus hours of fully enjoying the win while others shake off the hangover. Proud of you too!!

Most Generous and Angry Comment

/u/USSBigBooty FULL OF BEER, WINGS AND TORTILLA CHIPS ALL AHEAD FLANK SPEED

Most Affectionate Comment

/u/tribecalledni Lmao Nick is just drunk on the field yelling at refs, chest bumping the intern and having a blast

Most Accurate Comment

/u/Formal-Rough-4819 Liquor hittin I see. Eagles fandom makes us all brothers and sisters. Go birds baby!!!

Emotions

Positive


#1 Most Positive Comment Score: 2.799999952316284

/u/TallBoy24 This is probably my favorite Eagles team ever. The chemistry, the personalities, the absolute sheer talent on both sides of the ball. Team of destiny right here boys lets enjoy this ride

#2 Most Positive Comment Score: 0.8999999761581421

/u/sloth-irl I gotta admit I was nervous about the toxic positivity in this city but holy shit these guys look good tonight

#3 Most Positive Comment Score: 0.8999999761581421

/u/el_monstruo Well, I'm happy


Negative


#1 Most Negative Comment Score: -5.4000000059604645

/u/wikithekid63 Fuck man, I hate that fly eagles fly shit. I legit cant stand it. Im really bummed. Im so tired of being that fan where my team is just so questionable. I want to win games man. I want to see an exciting team. Its become so depressing.-giants fan LMFAOOOOOO theyre so down bad

#2 Most Negative Comment Score: -3.299999952316284

/u/anonamouse504 Damn I have never see. Such hostile behavior. Giants Reddit hoping for Acl injuries. And to play dirty. Jesus its a game and they are going as far hoping people die too. They be crazy. Hope the eagles bury them more!

#3 Most Negative Comment Score: -3.0999999046325684

/u/bstar1382 Nah, it's all of them. Was just reading their thread, it's comical they call us "trash fans". Shit they saying is fucking weak sauce. Fucking trash ass gabagul eating shitheads.