Eagles vs. Falcons

/r/eagles Game Thread Analysis
September 15th, 2019

Game Thread All Stars

MVP

/u/37x37x37x37

80 Comments

31.49 Emotion

-12.69 Negativity

"Let's move fletcher to wideout"

"FUCK OFF CHRIS COLLINSWORTH "I dOnT tHiNK tHiS hOw ThEy WaNt To Be PlAyInG" like wtf yes I'm fine being down 10-3 with Carson Wentz playing like Nathan Peterman and Ronald Darby playing like Byron Maxwell god I'm pissed"

"This would be one of those games in madden franchise mode that I would just start over..."

All-Thread 1st Team

/u/WentzToDJax "You're literally the worst type of person. Even the biggest fans of a team never root or cheer for injuries. That's where the line is and always has ended. Football is entertainment. It's not actual fucking war. Nobody wants others to be injured, except for you. because you're a terrible human being. You are literally an enemy of the fucking NFL. If every NFL fan voted for either you or Goodell, you'd lose in a landslide. And that's saying a lot! Nobody likes you, and you're a terrible person for cheering for injuries. On behalf of everyone on reddit, fuck you. Go choke."

/u/redjonley "I have been thoroughly besmirched."

/u/casualkey "I want the Eagles to win for all of the current and former players. I want the Eagles to win for PhillyI want the Eagles to win for the fans. But I really want the Eagles to win and win and win again until Cris Collinsworth sees the Eagles scoring in his sleep and he wakes up in a cold sweat knowing how great the Eagles are"

/u/Mojo_Jojo420 "Our organization is pathetic. the medical, training, and strength and conditioning staff are worse than the Redskins. Alshon,D jax, and goedert out of the game after the 1st drive like wtf? The secondary couldn't cover a junior varsity high school team. Jim Schwartz is a brain dead meat head, Groh is uncreative. Fire everyone."

/u/DLPyromania "LISTEN UO LADIES AND GENTS. ITS ONLY WEEK 2. WE DROPPED A GAME TO A TEAM THAT WONT EVEN BE A THREAT IN THE PLAYOFFS. OUR BEST POSSIBLE RECORD IS 15-1. SO WHAT IF OUR PLAYERS GOT A LITTLE BANGED UP? WE HAVE THE MIRACLES OF MODERN MEDICINE. SO WHAT IF AGGY DROPPED A POTENTIAL GAME WINNING PASS? HELL MAKE UP FOR IT IN THE PLAYOFFS, I PROMISE YOU. THEY SAID WE HAVE AN EASY SCHEDULE. WE WILL SHOW THEM THAT THERE IS NOTHING EASY ABOUT THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES. THEY WILL ALL BE PRAISING US COME FEBRUARY. WE ARE TESTED. WE ARE RESILIENT. WE ARE EAGLES. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!NOW LETS MOVE FORWARD."

F-Bombs Dropped*

*this accounts derivatives of "fuck", which includes "fuuuuuk" and "fook", as well as the phonetic "phuck", and also acronyms such as "wtf" and "gtfo". "Fuck dallas" counts double, as per tradition.

2068 fucks given

11.49 FPM

14.52% all comments

This was a high fucks-rate game thread. Here is an example:

/u/inversedwnvte "I bet they are jealous of our ring though eh? Fuck Dallas"


Ebbs and Fucks

Top Bomb Droppers

/u/winnick gave 35 fucks.

/u/NickFolesdong gave 33 fucks.

/u/bold_truth gave 31 fucks.

Game Thread Summary

14245 total comments

2072 total authors

79.14 comments per minute

14.55 comments per author

30.41% Positive comments

44.00% Negative comments

/u/casualkey Most Positive

/u/bold_truth Most Negative

Recent Threads

Alcohol References

65 drink references

"beer" Most referenced

/u/andrewskdr "Wentz needs a stiff drink at halftime"

/u/tafishel "This game isnt drunk, its fucking plastered"

/u/AfraidPenguin "*puts down the beer and grabs the rum*"

Most Emotional Comments

#1 Score: 0.89999

/u/gcon87 "Amazing how much this ending will impact waking up tomorrow"

#2 Score: 0.87877

/u/sweetnwild "I LOVE YOU GINGER JESUS"

#3 Score: 0.85858

/u/Rum_and_Cum "I want a study done on the cardiovascular impacts of being a die hard football fan. A study that obviously controls for things like diet and lifestyle. I feel like football is killing me. That and the alcohol."